Halleluia for landlocked states.

We have come, once again to that special time of year in which we all thank whatever higher power we believe in that we were made to walk on land and not swim in the ocean. That's right, it's Discovery Channel's Shark Week.
Sharks are one of the most important reasons that I do not live anywhere near the ocean. Other perfectly logical reasons not to live by the seashore include tsunamis, hurricanes, angry Atlanteans, Godzilla, and this thing:

Also, This:

I won't be getting into any body of water bigger than a bathtub for weeks. And if you watched any of the same sharky fun I did, neither will you.

The Dark Ictus!

     Everyone has those inane little questions that they always use in conversations with new people or when they have no idea what to do/say next. Mine is the ever useful "What is your superpower?" Most people (at least the ones who don't just blink at me and edge away) respond by telling me about the super power they wish they had. That's alright I guess, but I am convinced that everyone has some kind of super power. Sometimes a person can go their whole lives without ever knowing that they can read zebras' minds or sublimate bdellium with their eyes.
     My dad is one of the fortunate few who has discovered his latent superpower. He can kill small animals by touch. And possibly plants, we're not sure about the plants. He has, by his touch alone killed two rabbits and at least one chicken. Heaven help us should he ever turn his power to evil uses.
     The Dark Ictus, pictured above, is the super powered alter ego of a man whom I greatly respect, though I dare not reveal his true identity. That sort of thing gets people in trouble. He has the remarkable ability to nail your soul to the wall with his eyes. This picture is a theoretical scenario of what it might look like should the entire BYU Mens' Chorus become possessed and attack the Dark Ictus.
     If anyone else has discovered their secret super power and has a desire to share, feel free to let us know in the comments.

Holy Cow!

     Those of you who have been watching for a while may be aware that this is the time of year I usually post a rant/emo weep-fest about being rejected again from the art programs at BYU. For years I have deflected that age old college question, "What's your major?" by telling people, "I'm studying art." Notice, no claim of being an art major. I haven't been. For years I have been applying and being rejected from one department and the next.
     You may have noticed that there is no rant yet. And there shall not be one. I don't need to whine about rejection. I'm bigger than that.
     And I was accepted into BYU's Illustration department.
     See above.

Left Handed Fun

     This is the first thing that I have been able to draw for the past four weeks with my right hand. I have spent many fruitless hours trying to draw with my left hand, and while I can see some real possibilities, the hideous scribbles I have thus far accomplished have been relegated to the flames, so no one may ever know the pain of my failures.
     But why? I hear you asking. Why would I try to draw with my left hand? I was not inspired by the great southpaws of history and I was not trying to "branch out" in my creative process. I just broke my right collar bone and couldn't draw without crying because it hurt so much.
     It happened while I was in Chicago with the BYU Singers at the American Choral Directors Association conference.
     Living in safe little Provo, I tend to forget how dangerous it can be out there in the real world. Rogue gangs of ninjas roaming the streets looking for hapless victims. Fortunately for me, I have a great deal of hap when it comes to ninjas. But they were not looking to pick a fair fight. Instead of ambushing me directly, they directed their heartless attacks against my innocent, and very expensive new camera. In order to save the expensive, shiny toy, I had to sacrifice my own well being and it now owes me its life and has sworn to serve me faithfully forever.
     In layman's terms, I tripped and fell and landed on my shoulder trying to protect my new camera that was hanging around my neck. Boo.
     And that is why this is the first thing out of my right hand in weeks. Don't ask for the left handed stuff. You can't see it. Ever.

Go Figure!

Most of the time, when someone says that they are "crunching figures" they mean that they are doing math homework or balancing their checkbook or something. When I say it, I mean I'mma draw nekkid people.

For the Birds

This post and those berries are. For birds. Like this one. These little yellow birds bring me no end of joy each spring as they careen through Provo on their way to where ever it is they go. I love the way they hop around and squabble with each other like five year olds and almost choke trying to drop those berries the size of their own skulls down their gullets. Gagging aside, it's sort of endearing. This piece is my celebration of graduating from Blegh to meh on my ability with acrylics.

Edit: So I updated this image. I printed it and added another layer of acrylics, colored pencil and ink. To good effect I think.

My Latest Travesty

So, you might think that after years of practice and training I might be able to actually produce art. This is as close as I've managed to get over the past month. Meet Jenny Greenteeth. She's scary. I actually thought of this one while I was reading The Dresden Files. Rereading actually. I'm kind of stoked for the next book to come out in April. And if you think that you're going to find this in any of these books, you won't. Jim Butcher uses Jenny Greenteeth, but she's just a beautiful fairy woman with green teeth and a penchant for drowning things that like to breathe air. Which sticks to the folklore version of her pretty well, aside from the beautiful part. I originally had the woman shaped lure coming out of the top of the monster's head like an angler fish, but I think I like this better.