Halleluia for landlocked states.

We have come, once again to that special time of year in which we all thank whatever higher power we believe in that we were made to walk on land and not swim in the ocean. That's right, it's Discovery Channel's Shark Week.
Sharks are one of the most important reasons that I do not live anywhere near the ocean. Other perfectly logical reasons not to live by the seashore include tsunamis, hurricanes, angry Atlanteans, Godzilla, and this thing:

Also, This:

I won't be getting into any body of water bigger than a bathtub for weeks. And if you watched any of the same sharky fun I did, neither will you.